What I can offer tonight

There is no laughter today.

Instead, I have spent most of today in tears as I watched the images on the news from Connecticut. 

18 (possibly 20) children were brutally taken away from their families today. Countless others will have nightmares for who knows how long and will have to receive years of therapy to heal wounds so deep they’ll probably never reach the surface.

And we ask why.

It doesn’t matter why. There is no answer that can be given to justify something so vile. We wonder how someone could be so cruel, so heartless. We don’t understand.

I, for one, thank the good Lord that I don’t understand.

I don’t want to understand that kind of hatred.

I didn’t tell my kids what happened today. Not yet. I’m sure at some point this weekend we’ll end up talking about it but I want to take some time to gather my thoughts as to what to say. I don’t think we’ll say anything to Anna. She’s too young and it will only confuse her. Nathan’s 8.

He’ll have a lot of questions and I want to make sure that he isn’t frightened. And I want to answer his questions in such a way that he feels safe when I drop him off at school. Today is not the day to have that conversation. I don’t have the words to accomplish that. 

Today I will hug them tighter. Tell them, repeatedly, that I love them. Tuck them in and pray with them. We’ll ask God to care for those that are hurting tonight. We’ll thank Him for our safety and for our family.

This is what I can offer tonight.