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Friday, March 7, 2014

A blonde pulls up to a railroad crossing...

I just did an insanely idiotic thing. And instead of pretending it didn't happen, I’m going to blog about it. Because who among us has not been a bonehead at least once in their life?

I just dropped the kids off at school. As you come around a curve there are railroad tracks. As I approached the tracks I noticed the lights were flashing.

So I stopped. Immediately.

Why is this stupid? Well, let me share! The lights had *just* started to flash which means I had time to just go through. There was a car right behind me that expected me to keep going right on through since that is what a normal non-moron would do. She, of course, had to slam on her brakes. She didn't hit me (thank goodness!) but I can imagine after what I was about to do next she certainly wanted to. Since I stopped just short of the actual tracks (not even behind the “safety zone” for Pete’s sake!!) she was stuck under where the arms were coming down. I noticed this unfortunate fact as I watched this all happen in my rear view mirror. So, panicking, I frantically searched for the train which I knew was approaching quickly since I heard his whistle. I saw the light (about a quarter of a mile away) so I went for it.

Yes. I know. You’re not calling me anything I haven’t already called myself.
(Please remember, thank the Good Lord Almighty, that my children were not in the car to witness their mother being a complete and total ass hat.)

So, what did I do after crossing the tracks? I sped home like a coward, trying to become invisible, and turned onto my street on two wheels. I pulled into my garage, closed the door, and sat there congratulating myself on being such an enormous imbecile.

The icing on the cake? I totally know the woman whom I did this to. We’re not facebook friends so she won’t read this…however…some of you know her, as well, and will most likely hear about how I nearly killed myself and created my very own blonde joke in the process.

Why write this all down? Because I’m thoroughly embarrassed and want to own what I did and make you all feel better the next time you find yourself on this end of stupid. Human is as human does, right?


**I also want to say, in my defense, that the arms at this particular crossing are fairly new. Like, less than a year old. My brain misfired for a second. Also I was not anywhere near my phone and the radio was not on. I was simply a dork-a-saurus.


Thank You.