It was beautiful yesterday. After a long winter of negative
degree temperatures and howling winds, a lovely and sunny 60+ degree day is
just what we needed. One of my favorite things to do when it gets even remotely
warm-ish outside is to open the windows and that’s just what I did. Birds
singing, breeze blowing, 6 month old dust being stirred up and thrown about my
home. It was all I could do not to dance around in my long skirt and apron
singing “the hills are aliiiive with the sound of muuusiiiiccc.”
It was grand because we all knew it wasn’t going to last
and we took great advantage of the fleeting glimpse into the elusive season
(elusive around here, anyway) known as Spring.
My kids were enjoying this weather to the fullest playing
baseball and jump rope and hopscotch and riding their bikes and anything else
they could use as an excuse to stay outside. It was sweet music to hear the smack
of the bat against the ball, the rhythmic tat-tat-tat of the jump rope on the
driveway. So, in my delusional utopia of peace I decided to slip inside and
finish folding a basket of laundry.
(*Here’s where I ask you not to judge me. I enjoy folding
laundry.)
About 3 and a half minutes into it I hear, “ANNA!!! KNOCK
IT OFF!” Then a scream. Then, “NATHAN! GIVE IT BACK!!
MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM!!!!” I drop my head and sigh in the defeated mom
stance that we have all done at one time or another…or every day…and met my
wild-eyed, rabid badgers at the back door. The conversation went as follows:
Mom: “What.”
Anna and Nathan: “HesaidIshetriedtouseheneverletsmethenshescreamedandthenhetookmy..”
Mom: (Not quietly)
“ENOUGH!!!!!! Good NIGHT, you guys!! IT’S A BEAUTIFUL DAY AND THE SUN IS
SHINING, SOMETHING THAT HASN’T HAPPENED SINCE LAST SEPTEMBER AND I COME INSIDE
FOR A GRAND TOTAL OF FOUR SECONDS AND YOU START
FIGHTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE NICE TO EACH
OTHER??? YOU JUST GOT NEW SHIRTS FROM SCHOOL THAT SAY “BE NICE” ON THEM AND YOU
TWO CAN’T BE NICE TO SAVE YOUR LIVES!!! I’M TELLING SANTA!!!! I’M ALSO GONNA
MAKE YOU TWO HOLD HANDS IF YOU DON’T START GETTING ALONG!!! STOP YELLING AT EACH OTHER!!!!!!” (Yes. I yelled at my children to stop yelling.)
They both looked at me like I just grew an extra appendage
before their very eyes and said, “sorry, mom” then went back outside. I exhaled
and went back to folding laundry only to look up and notice, oh that’s right,
my windows are open. And there go some of my neighbors walking by. Outstanding.
I wanted to run outside and explain my situation. To make
them understand that I’m not a lunatic that screams at her kids (even though I
probably am.) I’m just a mom that didn’t want her peaceful afternoon defiled by
fighting children and arguing. But then I decided to do something more fun. I
decided to post an abbreviated version of this scenario on facebook and you
know what I got? Solidarity. Moms (and dads) who’ve all been there. No one
judged. No one scolded. In fact, it made people laugh. My neighbor, Jodi, even
told me that the police were called to her house one night by some passersby
because her son was screaming so loudly and throwing such a fit that they
thought he was being hurt. Nope. Turns out mom was just trying to get her son
to brush his teeth. She added, “As it turns out, cops don’t assist with teeth brushing.
But 2 cop cars in the driveway and 3 officers in the house did, in fact, bring
an end to the tantrum.”
Everyone can relate to this stuff. It’s real life. Not this
“I’m pretending everything is perfect” garbage that everyone rolls their eyes
at. So next time you find yourself in a situation where you are embarrassed
because you let reality show, don’t beat yourself up too badly. It happens to
all of us.
You’re normal.
